The 14-team playoff slate has now been determined, meaning there are 49 potential matchups for Super Bowl LVII. Which ones are the best, and which ones will we undergo while we wait for the next round of advertising? Here’s our ranking of all 49 matchups, from worst to best, ranked using a proprietary and highly scientific formula that combines team quality, history, viewability, popularity, and general gut feelings. Here we go…
49. Seahawks-Ravens: A preliminary note: All of these Ravens machups are based on the idea that Lamar Jackson won’t be playing. If Jackson turns out to be healthy in the end, move them all a good 15-20 slots in the rankings. Otherwise… woof.
48. Vikings Chargers: I mean, it’s the Super Bowl, so you’re going to watch anyway.
47. 49ers-Raven: Teams starting two quarterbacks in the Super Bowl that no one had ever heard of at the start of the season would be…interesting to say the least.
46. Seahawks-Dolphins: This would be the largest geographic disparity between Super Bowl teams, a record that will stand forever… or until the Jaguars move to London.
45. Giant-Raven: A rematch of Super Bowl XXXV where the Ravens beat the Giants 34-7 all the way back in 2001. This one probably won’t go that way.
44. 49ers-Dolphins: A matchup of two young, offensive coaches who lead teams absolutely sewn together with duct tape and prayer.
43. Vikings-Raven: If Kirk Cousins actually makes it to the Super Bowl, a lot of stories will have to be rewritten and/or thrown out…
42. Vikings Dolphins: …unless Cousins loses the Super Bowl in typical Cousinian fashion, in which case the stories will be carved into the earth’s crust.
41. Eagles-Raven: An Acela Corridor showdown. Whatever happens in the parking lot will be infinitely more interesting than what happens in this game.
40. 49ers Chargers: The Justin Herbert Starmaking Performance is coming up, might as well be here.
39. Vikings Jaguars: Seriously, sit with the idea of the Jaguars in the Super Bowl for a few minutes. Wild thought, isn’t it? And it can happen.
38. Giant Dolphins: Tyreek Hill back in the Super Bowl would be nothing short of awesome.
37. Eagles Chargers: There’s quite a bit of municipal difference here: one city embraces the team as if it were their own children, the other city forgets their team even exists.
36. Buccaneers-Raven: Tom Brady’s run to another Super Bowl would drown out any other story two weeks before the game — not every sports story, any story of any kind. Get ready.
35. Eagles-Dolphins: The Saban Bowl, as former Bama teammates Jalen Hurts and Tua Tagovailoa reunite. On the plus side, they can both play the whole game. On the negative side, they will both face stronger opponents than Georgia in 2018.
34. 49ers-Jaguars: A Super Bowl pitting one of the league’s most storied, honored and elite franchises against… the Jaguars. And it would also be a good game.
33. Giant Chargers: Eli Manning will refuse to see when the Chargers have the ball, just out of habit.
32. Eagle-Jaguars: The Doug Pederson Bowl! If there’s no Philly Specials all night, what are we even doing here?
31. Buccaneers Dolphins: The Tamiami Trail Bowl. On the bright side, there would be a boat parade no matter who wins, and those are always magnets for mayhem.
30. Giant Jaguars: The Trevor Lawrence Show would kick off if he can beat the New York Football Giants.
29. Eagles Bengal: Combine Joe Burrow’s swagger and the number of Philly fans and you’d have the most insufferable NFL fan base ever. Probably for the best that they don’t play much.
28. Buccaneers-Jaguars: The Florida Man Bowl. Everyone gathers in the parking lot of the Daytona Buc-ees for the watch party.
27. Seahawks Chargers: The combined renaissance of both Geno Smith and Pete Carroll would be something to behold.
26. 49ers-Bengal: Super Bowl XXIII rematch! If San Francisco is struggling, the Niners should bring in Joe Montana to take a few more snaps. He has experience in comebacks against Cincinnati.
25. Cowboys-Raven: Can we take a moment to imagine how apocalyptic the NFL world will be when Dallas actually makes it to the Super Bowl for the first time in a quarter of a century? Cowboy fans poured down from the hills. The train would collapse under the weight of all the new arrivals.
24. Buccaneers Loaders: An exciting confrontation of two coaches whose greatest enemy is themselves.
23. Cowboys Dolphins: A rematch of Super Bowl VI, where the Boys beat the Finns. Fun fact: This New Orleans-era Super Bowl was actually blacked out (the game was at Tulane Stadium) because it wasn’t a sellout.
22. Seahawks Jaguars: Jaxson DeVille, the highlighter yellow, Speedo-wearing mascot of the Jags, is earning national fame. This would bestow it.
21. Giant Chiefs: One of these days, Kansas City will host an entire game of weird Turkey Bowl play. Why not the Super Bowl?
20. Vikings Bengali: LSU Reunion! Between Ja’Marr Chase and Justin Jefferson, this game could have mileage, not yardage.
19. Cowboys Jaguars: Part of the appeal of the Super Bowl is having a team to hate. The Cowboys would fill that role nicely in this matchup. And any football newbies would be wondering who that Jacksonville player is with the luxurious blonde locks.
18. Seahawks Bills: We’re all waiting to see if Josh Allen can throw 600 yards in a Super Bowl, aren’t we?
17. Giant Bengali: How long does it take to wipe away an old stain on a franchise’s bad reputation? Two Super Bowls in two years could do it for Cincinnati.
16. 49ers Bills: The Niners have the best defense in the league, the Bills have one of the best offenses in the NFL. Solid object vs irresistible force is always a must watch.
15. Seahawks Bengal: Do you think Russell Wilson will watch the Seahawks make it to the Super Bowl? Yeah, neither do we.
14. Viking Chiefs: Super Bowl IV rematch! In that game, the Vikings were favored by 13 ½…and lost by 16. Is it any wonder that Vikings fans spend their whole lives wondering when the hammer will fall?
13. Giant Bills: The Scott Norwood bowl. His name, and his miss, would literally be mentioned a billion times leading up to this one.
12. Seahawks Chiefs: Of all the league turnaround stories, the Seahawks are perhaps the most impressive, and a run to the Super Bowl would certainly be one of the most unlikely in recent NFL history.
11. Cowboys Chargers: This feels like post-season proof for Dak Prescott. Reaching the Super Bowl would prove it.
10. Buccaneers-Bengal: Julio Jones deserves a Super Bowl ring, even though he’s a Buc in Name Only right now.
9. 49ers Chiefs: Super Bowl LIV Rematch! That game was a lot closer than people remember now; the 49ers would love another chance to keep Patrick Mahomes under control until late.
8. Buccaneers Bills: This appears to be an outburst, but given that Brady has lived rent-free in the minds of the Bills mafia for the past 20 years, this would be an exorcism of demons or an admission of utter defeat.
7. Viking Accounts: In one of the best games of the year, Minnesota beat Buffalo 33-30 in overtime earlier this season, just one of many times we couldn’t figure out if Minnesota is a great team with the occasional flop or a terrible team that occasionally sparkles. Still don’t know.
6. Cowboys Bengali: With arrogance and attitude visible from space, Joe Burrow is the quintessential Cowboy Fan avatar… well, aside from the fact that he’s actually been to the Super Bowl in this millennium.
5. Bucs Chefs: You just know that Patrick Mahomes is dying for revenge for that Super Bowl humiliation from a few years back.
4. Eagles Chiefs: Now we’re in the all-killer, no-filler section of the ranking. The two No. 1 seeds – both of whom deserve it – would have a Godzilla vs. Kong matchup.
3. Cowboys Chiefs: The hottest team in the NFL to play against the league’s likely MVP? This one could do World Cup Final level numbers.
2. Eagles Bills: The NFL’s third and second leading offenses (behind Kansas City) would add up to about a thousand points combined. Take charge, whatever it is.
1. Cowboys Bills: Finally, Buffalo gets a chance to get revenge on the team that victimized them twice in the ’90s. This one will be dripping with storylines. For once, everyone will agree that the game is more appealing than the ads.
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Contact Jay Busbee at [email protected] or on Twitter at @jaybusbee.
